Lives Between Walls

My name is Jared, and I live on the corner of Tram and Blossom Street. You may have seen me tending to the bushes and shrubs in your neighbourhood. Yes it’s me, the gardener. I may not look like much, wearing these blue overalls, with my hands always soiled as I tend to these plants. I didn’t choose to be here Ana, it’s just the cards that life has dealt me. Some were destined to be poor, and some were destined to be rich. And such is the unfairness of life, that there is an invisible barrier between the two classes – a void that we could never build a bridge over. How unfair it is that you will never see me as more than just the gardner in this life time. I can never get the chance to profess the great love I have for you, because it is not socially acceptable for someone like me to be with someone like you.

I remember the day I first saw you – the day you first moved into the neighbourhood. I was working on Mr. Brown’s lawn – on all fours like an animal pulling out weeds, when I saw that white box truck pulling up alongside the house that used to belong to the Steinhoffs. Initially I was just like ‘meh,’ just another snotty rich family moving into the neighbourhood, nothing special about that. That was until I saw you step out the back seat of that Mercedes pulled in the driveway. It was love at first sight for me, Ana. I watched you, on your phone walking behind your parents into the house. By chance, you lingered outside for a moment, and then you just happened to turn your head towards my direction, and our eyes locked. My heart skipped a beat in that moment Ana. It was as though the world came to a grinding halt as you smiled and lifted your hand at me. That moment was etched into my mind forever; it is the first thing I see when I wake up, and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. It was in that moment, as I watched you strut into the house, that I knew that you and I were destined to be together.

From that day on I kept my eyes on you. You enrolled at Kinross High School, and you would cycle to school about kilometer away everyday. You left the house every morning at 7am. I knew the route you took, so I would always make sure I had garden work around the same route, so that I could just get to see you; and you would wave to me everyday on your way to school. It was like a refreshing drink of water to my thirst. You see Ana, I had nothing to live for at that moment. I had been unemployed for 6 years since I was released from prison. And nobody wanted to employ someone with a criminal record. Infact, it was a miracle that I managed to land this job. It was all thanks to my grandmother who had managed to connect me with a good Samaritan from the church. “How do you feel about doing a bit of garden work mate?” The man from church had asked me that Sunday afternoon. Of course I would never refuse, especially because his offer included accommodation at the man’s outbuilding. Going to church every Sunday would be a small price to pay. I didn’t really give a shit about this religion thing, I just needed the free help. Hell I needed all the help I could get after my own mother had literally disowned me after I went to prison. Yeah I have many regrets about my life Ana, but unfortunately life does not come with a rewind button. And that is how I got here, my love. Yeah I may never get to drive a Mercedes in this lifetime, or stand a chance with a pretty woman like you, but I just have to make the most with the cards I’ve been dealt. What had I been in jail for? I will tell you later.

I watched you for many years Ana – from primary school to high school. I watched you grow, like a beautiful bud blossoming into a rose – and taking care of flowers was my specialty. If you would let me Ana, I would take extra special care of you as I take care of the tulips along your street. I had watched guys come and go from your house, every 3 months you were in a new relationship. These boys don’t know how to treat a real woman Ana – they can’t handle you. But I can my love, just give me the green light. I once saw you leaving the house through your bedroom window in the evening to attend the party that your mother had forbidden you from going to. You were grounded for a month in your room. Remember the day I walked past your room window and you looked at me and waved? That was the day on which I think you started noticing that I frequented your window. I don’t know if it freaked you out, or it flattered you. I think it flattered you, because you would always keep your curtains open from then on – prancing around topless after you had come out of the shower. I know you did it deliberately; I just know you did it for me Ana.

Your dad was a business man. He would provide the majority of your family’s income; I know this because I once saw one of his pay slips in the bin. He was away on business trips alot – particularly on Thursdays and Fridays. So he was the one responsible for the lavish life you were living. Your mother on the other hand was a partygirl, who loved hanging out with friends and drinking. Her behaviour hardly fitting for a mother if you ask me. I guess she was trying to find ways to keep herself from dying of boredom in her failing marriage. I once saw her once coming out of Stanza’s local pub – wasted as anything. It wouldn’t have been hard to take advantage of her. Infact if I hadn’t come to her rescue, someone might have. “Hi Mrs. Amanzi?” I waved to her across the street. She had turned her head toward my direction, instantly recognizing me, “Oh hey, you’re that gardener guy!” I walked over towards her. I could see that she had been drinking too much and was swaying back and forth, holding her purse tightly under her arm. I saw were you got your gorgeous looks from. “Are you okay Mrs. Amanzi?” I asked her leaning in. She threw her head back with a shrill laugh, “Of course I’m okay. Just a typical girl’s night out, and we kind of overdid it.” I gave a mischievous grin, “I get you Mrs. A” I offered to wait with her for a cab, if just to offer her a bit of company and security. I also hoped that I could get to learn more about you from her. “Ncaww that is really sweet of you. I could really use the company – with my husband gone half the time and all – ” she quickly put her hand to her mouth when she realised that she had said too much to me. “It’s okay Mrs. A, I didn’t hear anything,” I replied slightly amused. “Please, call me Charne,” she said, “I’m sorry I don’t even know your name?” I told her my name was Jared. Your mother is quite a down to earth person, but then again it could have just been because of the alcohol that evening. Either way, we had a long hearty chat. She even told me about that incident when you were young; how you swallowed that marble and nearly choked. They had to rush you to hospital, but you survived – destiny was saving you for me, Ana. Finally the taxi came, and Charne bid me farewell as she got into the cab, “Hey, you should come and work on our garden as well sometime.” That was the greenlight I had been waiting for, so I could get closer to you, Ana. You ask me what I had been in jail for, I’ll tell you later.

“So, you can just mow the front lawn and trim the hedges for now Jared,” Mr. Amanzi boomed, “then we can discuss payment later, alright?” I replied, “Mr. Amanzi, payment is not necessary.” As long as I can get closer to your daughter, that would be enough payment for me – I left that part out of the conversation because I didn’t want to die yet. Mr. Amanzi bellowed with laughter slapping me on the back with his thick hand, “If everyone was like you Jared, the world would be a much better place!” And then behind his fat head, I saw you coming down the stairs – towards the verandah were I stood with your dad. You looked incredible in your thigh high shorts, your long blond hair plunging down your youthful breasts, snug in that crop top purple vest. “Daddy, can I please go meet up with Roger at the mall?” Mr. Amanzi replied to you, “But honey, someone needs to be home while Jared cuts the grass. If you are leaving, and I am leaving, who will remain here? You know your mom won’t be back till late.” You put your finger on your lip and thought for a moment. You did not even look at me since you showed up. Why were you ignoring me? Oh I get it, you probably didn’t want to arouse suspicion with your dad that there was something going on between us. “Well, I will be back in the afternoon, maybe Jared can come back around that time?” Your dad glanced at me, I nodded. I watched you walk back into the house. I could have sworn that the way you moved your hips was more accentuated. I know you were doing that for me – teasing me – building up my desire and anticipation for this afternoon. You ask me what I had been in jail for? I’ll tell you later.

So there I was, cutting the grass in the front lawn. Thanks to your dad’s house having so much glass, I was easily able to see you sitting on the couch, frantically typing on your phone – with your earphones on. Why don’t you people use curtains? There I was, pushing the lawnmower up and down that lawn. Ocassionally I would catch a glimpse of you standing up to grab something from the fridge. However one time you turned towards me, and caught me staring at you. Oh gosh, and then you were walking towards me. I quickly went back to mowing the lawn with my head down, when I suddenly heard the sliding door open, and the sound of your lovely voice stopped me dead in my tracks. I switched the machine off. “Hey Jared!” You called out to me with an enthusiastic tone. Oh boy, my heart was skipping. I felt the perspiration forming on the back of my neck. I was nervous. I had never heard you call my name before. I wish I could have recorded it and replay it over and over as the sound track for the rest of my life. “You want to come have something to drink?” I couldn’t believe it, I was about to get close to you! See, it was you who invited me Ana. You should have left me outside, instead you made this happen! I replied, “Mmm, depends on what you have?” You cocked your eyebrow in amusement, “Well, I was going to offer water – but clearly his majesty thinks this is a five star restaurant.” I stuttered in uncertainty, “Oh I didn’t mean…” You laughed at me, “I was only joking grandpa. Come on in.” I shuffled in after her and sat on one of the bar stools in that modernist kitchen. Three chandelier lights hung above that counter. I had never seen a house so clean, the white tiles on the wall, and the marble counters, it was beautiful. You opened the fridge and glanced in my direction with a subtle smile, “So, we got beer, pinacolada, orange juice, coca cola or the most successful drink of all time, water? What’s your poison?” You have such a good sense of humour Ana, but at times I can’t tell when you are joking or when you are serious. You are able to keep a straight face while you talk, those plump lips and deep eyes are emotionless, but when you smile it was like a sudden beam of light that illuminated the darkest corners of the room. I laughed nervously, “You should seriously consider getting into the water sales business, you could sell it to a fish.” You smirked at my comment, as you poured me a glass of water and handed it to me – our fingers grazing. “Here you go grandpa, drink up you still have alot of lawn to get through,” you winked at me. I replied, “You know you don’t have to call me grandpa, I’m not that old.” I took the glass of water and drank up. You walked towards the couch to take a seat and got back onto your phone, “Well you look old!” I let out a full throated laugh. I was actually 31, I guess it was the beard that made me look old. You ask me what I had been in jail for? I’ll tell you later.

I finished my glass of water and I put it down on the counter. I couldn’t believe I was alone with you in that house. You were my dream Ana, and now it was being fulfilled. After a while, you noticed that I had now been too long in that kitchen. You turned toward me, and saw me still sitting on the bar stool. “Hey, if you’re done with your drink, I think it would be best if you head back to work. I don’t think my dad would be too pleased if he comes back and the work is not done.” I just sat there staring at you. You looked so pretty Ana, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. You stood up and walked towards me, slightly frustrated, “Hey Jared! I’m talking to you.” You stood in front of me and waved your hand in front of my face as if trying to snap me out of trance, “Hello?!”

Like a flash, I quickly grabbed both of your hands before you even realised what’s going on. I knew I had limited time to explain to you, how we are meant to be together, this great love that I have for you and how I had watching you since you were young. At first it was a shock to you, and you fought, talking crazy about calling the police and shit – but eventually you began to understand, especially after I had tied you up. And that’s how we ended up here today my love, in this abandoned warehouse. You ask what I had been in jail for? You ask too many questions Ana. Let’s put that gag back onto your mouth shall we. I told you, that I will tell you later.