Lives Between Walls

Have you ever felt like you were the only person in the world? And that everyone else was an extra in a movie in which you were the lead actor? I guess everyone feels like that at some point. There are numerous teachings that try to explain the meaning of life, saying that we are all individuals with a free will, and that can choose their own destiny for instance. I’m sure we’ve all heard sayings like, ‘Your life is what you make it,’ and ‘you are the captain of your own destiny’ and all that bullshit. What if I told you that this was all a lie? What if I told you that the only reason you are reading this right now, is not because you chose to, but because you were chosen to? Am I scaring you? Are you laughing right now? Why are you laughing? Do you think you are the one who decides when to laugh and when not to laugh? Have a seat, I have something to share with you that will make you rethink existence, and everything you have ever been taught about the meaning of life.

I only have ten minutes though. They only allow a limited time for visits here at the psychiatric ward. It’s only a matter of time before the nurse comes and takes me away back to my darkness.

I shouldn’t be here. I am an intelligent man, who had a bright future ahead of him. I was a whole college professor for goodness sake – Arnold is my name. They banished me to this mental institute because I was unfortunate enough to stumble upon the greatest discovery since the beginning of all mankind. My eyes were opened, and so I have been declared mad because I live in a society of blind men. They do not see what I see, or understand as I do. I am so glad that you have taken the time to come and hear me out. Only a few people are willing to hear my story, or to receive the knowledge that I share with them. You are one of the blessed few. I remember the first day I saw it. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was late in the evening, and I was on campus finishing up in the science laboratory. Marking those assignments had taken longer than I had anticipated. By that time it was 8pm on that gloomy Thursday evening. My wife had already sent me a message questioning my whereabouts, as she was prone to do ever since I broke her trust that one time – that however, is another story. “I’ll be there now now love,” I texted back, “Just finished marking students papers.” I shuffled as I stuffed the stack of scripts into my leather satchel and hastenly flung it over my shoulder – making my way out of the lab. I strolled out onto the school parking towards my car, my face immediately embraced by the winter breeze. The sun had bid our town farewell quite early today, normally it would still be out around this time. The sound of my black formal shoes echoed on the tarmac – ‘klip klop klip klop.’ As I was a stone throw away from my Toyota Fortuner, I saw two figures emerge from behind it. My heart froze, and a wave of terror engulfed me as I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I could sense that their intentions where not good. So I just stood there paralyzed with fear, they also stood there – the longest minute of my life. I quickly realized that I was in danger, and perhaps it would be better if I went back into the university building – yes the security guard was still there. I slowly turned around and briskly walked back to the building. It was only then that I realised that I had stopped breathing, so I slowly exhaled. My face was heating up, and my heart pounding hard in my neck – ‘klip klop klip klop’ – the sound of my shoes rapidly hitting the asphalt, aligning with the rythm of my heart. ‘Doof doof doof doof’ – a new rhythm accompanied it, and I swung my head to see the two figures lunging towards me with determination. It was one of the scariest moments of my life.

Let me hurry this story up. I only have ten minutes. They only allow a limited time for visits here at the psychiatric ward. It’s only a matter of time before the nurse comes and takes me away back to my darkness.

I can’t explain it. I couldn’t run. When I saw that they were coming after me, it’s as though all my faculties shut down, until my pursuers stood before me – almost as though they bound me with an invisible web, as a spider does its prey. I guess a part of me figured that I could reason with them. When my assailants were near, the expression on their faces made me realize that they were not there to reason with me. It was like staring at the face of death itself. It had terrible scars and bruises, like a map to hell – eyes unforgiving, with no soul in them. One grabbed me by the neck, choking me – while the other searched me, snatching my bag out of my hands. The coordination was seamless, masters at their craft. I could tell that this was not their first time doing this. I felt my wallet and phone being removed from me. I was struggling to breathe – I could swear I heard my bones crack. The hands squeezing my neck where callous and cold – no warmth, no emotion, no feeling, like trying to find empathy in the heart of Satan. I thought about my wife waiting for me, my kids, who would always run to jump on me excitedly, every time I got back home. No! I was not going to die like this. I swung my right leg with all the strength I could muster, and kicked the one that was choking me in his ‘family jewels.’ Howling in pain, he flung me violenlty onto the floor, clutching his privates. As I hit the tarmac with a thud, I saw his associate pull out a gun in the corner of my eye. When I quickly turned to look up, I came face to face with a cold M16 pistol, more than ready to give me a quick and speedy end. “Please sir, don’t kill me,” I whispered, raising my hands toward him as I lay on the floor. Then I saw it. The moment I did, tears started trickling involuntarily down my cheeks. I just couldn’t stop crying, and my sobs soon became loud yelps. The assailant holding the gun was so confused by my reaction. He could see I was looking at something above him, so he turned his head to follow the direction of my gaze, but he saw nothing.

Let me hurry this story up. I only have ten minutes. They only allow a limited time for visits here at the psychiatric ward. It’s only a matter of time before the nurse comes and takes me away back to my darkness.

What I saw was a set of strings, attached to the assailant’s hand holding the gun, also some more strings attached to his legs, head and mouth – going all the way up to heaven. Through the clouds I saw that the strings terminated at a cross like piece of timber, the one used by puppeteers to control a puppet. Sure enough, holding that piece of timber was what looked like a man, gigantic in proportion. It seemed as though my attackers were unaware that they were being controlled by this man in the clouds. I shouted at this colossal man, as loudly as I could, “What are you doing up there?!!!” By this time the man with the gun was terrified. He kept telling me to ‘shut up or he would shoot.’ His colleague, was still lying on the floor clutching his pearls, frantically looking around in the clouds, trying to understand who I was talking to. At this point I didn’t even notice they were there anymore, my attention was fixed on this marvellous sight that I had been given the priviledge to behold. It was glorious, like nothing I had ever seen in my life. “Puppet master!” I instinctively screamed out to him in tears, “Give me another chance, please! I did not know you where there!” In the background I could hear the man with the gun still blabbering on about shooting me. Suddenly I saw the Puppet Master nod – and from that moment on, I knew I was not going to die that evening. I slowly stood up and dusted my coat, and grabbed my wallet, satchel and phone from the floor to the amazement of the two attackers who where now standing in front of me – one with the trembling gun still pointed at me. I pushed past them and walked towards my car, not even turning around to look at their reaction. I confidently got into my SUV and drove off – because the Puppet Master had given me his approval.

Let me hurry this story up. I only have ten minutes. They only allow a limited time for visits here at the psychiatric ward. It’s only a matter of time before the nurse comes and takes me away back to my darkness.

When I got home and told the story to my wife, she could not believe me. She already didn’t trust me after that one incident with that female student – so I knew that it was going to be difficult for her to buy this seemingly ridiculous story. She concluded in her mind that I had cheated on her again, despite my desperate attempts to try and appease her. As we went to sleep that evening, I saw strings from her arms, her mouth and her legs going through the ceiling of the house, right up to the clouds. At the end of those strings, I saw the Puppet Master again – it seemed that he was also in control of my wife. “Please make her understand!” I shouted at him. Startled by my shouting, my wife turned to face me, “Arnold! What is going on with you?” I continued, “Puppet Master, please make her believe me!” I believe that the Puppet Master is everywhere – he controls everything, people, and situations. I am convinced that we are all puppets and our freewill is more limited than we think. So instead of fighting with other puppets, just negotiate with the Puppet Master. Even though I am at the mental asylum now, I still see him, and I am the one who asked him to lead you here today.

My time is up now. They only allow a limited time for visits here at the psychiatric ward. My nurse is here now, to take me away back to my darkness.