Lives Between Walls

He seemed particularly down today as I opened the door and let him in. “What happened to you?” I asked as he shuffled in, rubbing his shoulders trying to shrug off the winter cold. I was confused as to why he was here so late. All my clients knew that I had a strict policy about my operating hours – no clients after 6pm. I didn’t want their wives to start asking questions. That time it was 9pm in the evening and it got dark alot quicker those days. I had been sleeping and his knocking had woke me up – didn’t really have time to throw anything on except for my velvet nightie. I gently closed the door behind him. He placed his umbrella on the floor and hung his black coat on my coat stand. He turned and stared at me blankly. “Well,” I continued, “what are you doing here so late?” Peter adjusted his glasses, and went and sat down on my bed. “Yeah sure you can have a seat first,” I replied sarcastically. I sat beside him and put my hand on his tigh. He was still wearing his work attire, a dapper brown suit and a white shirt. He looked delectable. Was he just coming from work now? I scanned his eyes, trying to ascertain his state of mind. Peter was one of my new clients, he had recently moved to Orchidville. I felt that he was still skeptical about using my services, being married and all. He was still struggling to open up to me. I had tried to explain to him that this wasn’t cheating. He thought I was a prostitute initially, as do many people – but that’s definitely not what I am. I believe sex is sacred, and I’m saving myself for that one special person. But what I do is different. I provide emotional support for men.

His shoulders started heaving intermittently. Was he crying? I put my hand on his shoulder, “Peter are you crying?” I asked. He wiped his eyes and quickly tried to gather himself. “It’s okay Peter. This is a safe space,” I said soothingly. This was the nature my work. Society does not give men a place to be human, a place where they can break down and cry. It demands that men be hard 24/7, and denies them grace when they fail. Most wives also do this which is always detrimental to their marriages. Men are the most misunderstood creatures on earth – only a few women understand. It was for this reason that I started this service. After my third break up, I was heartbroken, because the guy I was seeing at that time had cheated on me. I couldn’t understand why he would do that, because I thought that he had been happy with me. I mean I was amazing damn straight. I had the curves, the slender waist, the smooth light skin – I was every man’s fantasy. “He’s a dog honey, you’re better off without him,” my friends had tried to comfort me the day I found out. But that was not enough of a conclusion for me. I still know that I had played a part in his affair – there was something that another woman had that I didn’t have. If he was happy with me, why would he look elsewhere? That’s when I started on a journey to try and understand men. Three years later I started my practice, ‘For men only.’ I started with only a few men, about two, until my clientele grew to about ten regular clients. I see everything from powerful politicians, pastors, to normal married men, to boyfriends, and any other male who needed a place to be weak. You can schedule an appointment with me as well, if you need emotional attention. If you need someone to sit with you, to tell you that you are doing great, to tell you that your efforts are appreciated as a man, I’m here for you. Most men don’t get this from their women, and they often feel under valued. Men need words of affirmation and that is the service I provide. I don’t know how many marriages and relationships I’ve saved as a result, because if men get that from me, they won’t have to cheat. Honestly speaking, men are not looking for sex when they cheat, but just for emotional attention. Oh and I don’t sleep with my clients incase you are wondering – as I said I’m not a prostitute. Think of me as a type of psychologist.

“Well,” Peter replied finally, as he removed his glasses to wipe the tears that had been streaming down his face, “I’m just tired.” I cocked my head to the side and asked, “What are you tired of Peter?” He looked around the room for a moment, “I’m tired of being a husband. I feel like I’m working so hard and my efforts are not being appreciated by her!” I reached out and put my arms around his well sculpted body. “It’s okay Peter,” I replied, “I’m here for you.” We sat in that position for quite some time, his arms also wrapped around my slender frame. The more I got to understand men, it really amazed me how vulnerable they actually were. To see a man vulnerable before you was really special, and as a woman if you don’t see your man like this, I question whether you are creating an environment for him to be so. Let me ask, when was the last time you saw your man cry? Never? Well just know that he will end up coming to me.

I sat back on that bed, and scanned Peter up and down. I reached out and held his hand.

“Peter, I appreciate you. Every little thing you do, I see it. I thank you for taking care of your woman the way you do. Even though she acts up from time to time, as all women do, it doesn’t mean that she is not grateful for you in her life.”

“Thank you Alicia. I appreciate your words. I wish my wife could see my value as much as you do.”

“Believe you me, she does Peter. Perhaps she is having trouble communicating it right now.”

“But then I still need to hear it.”

“Think of it like this, appreciation is lacking in her right now because she is broke.”

“Huh? What do you mean broke? As in she’s got no money?”

“Well kind of. She can’t afford it. Maybe she is going through a rough patch right now, or maybe its her menstrual cycle. We women are not always rational, haha.”

“I don’t buy it. I think you’re just making excuses for her.”

“Well, even if you don’t, know that you are a great man, worthy of respect, appreciation and love. And if your woman can’t see that, I can. And if ever you’re feeling low on encouragement, you can always come to me and I will remind you.”

Peter smiled. I had gotten through to him. Maybe a bit too well, as he reached out his hand and stroked my exposed tigh, where my night robe parted. But I quickly grabbed his hand, “I think we should save that for your wife Peter.” I winked and smiled. I can’t say I am not tempted in my work to sleep with my clients. There is nothing more sexy than a vulnerable man. But when I remember the pain I went through when I got cheated on, I restrain myself. I don’t want another woman to ever go through the heartache I went through – no one deserves that. I had built quite a rapport in Orchidville, and I didn’t want to stain it. There are certain desperate wives who would even take my number and ask me to let them know if their husbands had been coming to me – because I understood them better than they ever could, and they trusted me. They were more at ease knowing that their men were safe with me rather than having affairs. I was the last resort for unhappy marriages – sort of like a superhero of sorts.

It was around 11:56pm when I walked Peter down the stairs to his Porsche. “So where are you going to tell your wife you’re coming from at this hour?” I asked him, still holding his hand. He thought for a moment, “I’ll say I was out jogging perhaps.” I laughed and shook my head, “Yeah I would also love to go jogging in a Porsche. You’re such a hopeless liar.” I waved him goodbye as his car roared down that empty street.

You can schedule an appointment with me as well, if you need emotional attention. If you need someone to sit with you, to tell you that you are doing great, to tell you that your efforts are appreciated as a man. I’m here for you.